When I Look in the Mirror

Looking in the mirror I barely recognize the woman looking back at me. She looks tired. She looks big. She looks insanely happy. The changes my body has made over the past nine months are nothing short of extraordinary. That the human body can change and adjust to provide a safe haven for another growing human is simply beautiful. The woman looking back at me in the mirror - her belly swells with the growing life of a precious child. Her back bows to compensate for the extra weight she carries Read more [...]

From a soon-to-be-mama

You are all seriousness with a heaping dose of want-to-be helpful. You share the hard things, the questions and anxiety and heartache. You are a legion of mamas who kind heartedly offer advice and experience to this soon-to-be mama. And truly I am thankful. For your honesty, for your desire to help. I am thankful. But in a way your stories dishearten me. You share about how hard labor is. You share your horror stories of bringing life into this world. You told me to register for formula because Read more [...]

When I Can’t Sleep

His breathing is peaceful and even, evidence of the sweet sleep he enjoys. It is too dark to watch him sleep, but I listen to his breaths, I feel his warmth, and I take comfort in him being close by. I love this man so much. And here beside him - this is where my heart is most happy. This is where I feel the most safe and secure. It is the earliest hours of the morning when our little part of earth is quiet and still and peacefully anticipating a fresh day. And I have not yet enjoyed restful sleep. Read more [...]

A battlefield or a dance floor

"I don't understand why you let infertility be your identity." I was engaged in a conversation with an acquaintance of mine who has a young child. It was one of those conversations that I look back on and hope I demonstrated enough grace. While I count it an honor and privelege to share about infertility and help others be more aware of the burden of barrenness, sometimes I'm caught off guard by their questions. But the question, "Why let infertility be your identity?" really resonated with me, Read more [...]

On Guilt

For the second time in my life I was staring at a positive pregnancy test. I had taken so many tests over the past few years, and had seen so many negatives that I didn't quite believe my eyes. Thank goodness I'd asked my husband to pick up the digital tests that literally read "pregnant" and "not pregnant." I'm not sure I would have believed the little blue lines. That I would be experiencing pregnancy after infertility - especially so soon after a miscarriage - was not even a thought in mind! Back Read more [...]

Becoming

I wrestle, yet again, with setting goals and making New Year resolutions. This moment in time - the newness of a fresh start to a new year - seems almost magical, as if we can erase the failures and heartache of the year just passed, and embrace a clean slate of living in a new year. Yet I hesitate to make resolutions. Because I always, always fail. And I fear, and even hate failure. If I don't make resolutions at least I know I won't fail. But deep inside I also know that I won't try. And sometimes Read more [...]

Our Thanksgiving Day Gender Reveal Party

Gender Reveal Nursery Rhyme Treasure Hunt

This Thanksgiving will likely go down as one of the most memorable Thanksgivings for our family. Not only did we enjoy expressing our gratitude and sharing in fellowship and thanksgiving, but we also discovered, along with many of our dearly-loved family members, that our surprise miracle baby is… (Many of you saw this on Instagram last Thursday!) We were so excited to find out that we’re having a little boy! What an exciting new chapter of our lives that we’re about to experience, we are so Read more [...]

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Team Baby E.

Gender Reveal Outfits

There is a tiny, precious life developing in my womb. My womb. For years it was empty, and I felt that my body betrayed my heart’s deepest desire. And now there is a child – the child for which we have prayed for so long – growing in my womb. Sometimes it is still hard to believe. The fluttery movements started about three weeks ago, and feeling that sweet babe moving around inside me created a new excitement within me and made it easier to believe that this longtime dream really is coming true. On Read more [...]

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Happy Birthday to My Husband

Happy Birthday to my Husband

To say I was nervous would be an understatement. We’d met just a few short months before, and while our relationship was just blossoming from casual acquaintance to something akin to friendship, somehow I knew it would blossom into something even more. And if I didn’t know it then, I certainly hoped so – though I wasn’t ready to admit that to very many people. He was a young seminary student, and he looked the part of a minister with his red beard, blue dress shirts, and khaki pants. He was quiet, Read more [...]

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Infertility and why we need you

Infertility and the need for unconditional friendship via A Royal Daughter

Our journey to parenthood was long, but not as long as some. And it was painful, though not as painful as others experience. Were it not for the unwavering prayers of precious saints, and the gentle touch of those who lifted us up and carried us through the dark days of struggling to understand, my husband and I would have surely failed at being faithful. Every woman who longs to be a mommy, but is still in that desperate time of waiting and wondering, knows this to be true: we wrestle with God Read more [...]

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Comfort, Peace, and Hope

Co

With broken words and fragile courage we share our stories. The stories of grief that feels like failure, but really it’s a story of bravery. The stories of overcoming heartache and brokenness, but really it’s a story of healing. Some of us share our stories privately, being vulnerable with just a few trusted souls. And some of us share our stories publicly, writing and speaking to who knows how many strangers. These stories, our stories, we share them for the same reasons, really. We share our Read more [...]

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Peace not as the world gives

Peace not as the world gives via aroyaldaughter.com

We sat in the car outside of the emergency room. My heart was hurting, my hands were trembling, and my husband was at a loss as to how to comfort me. Tears welled in my eyes, but I fought them back.  “I don’t want to walk this road again, Lord. Not now. Not this far along.” The lump in my throat kept me from vocalizing my unspoken prayer, but He heard those silent heart screams. Follow Me. His Spirit whispered quiet words deep into my soul. And if I’m honest they offered little comfort. Soft Read more [...]

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Life & Pregnancy Update + Steals & Deals

Shutterfly 40 percent off everything deal

Life Update  It’s been quiet around here this week. The past week and a half was really tough. On Wednesday my husband worked from home because he was a bit worried about me getting too dehydrated. I’m incredibly thankful that yesterday afternoon brought relief from the nausea and some extra energy! Here’s hoping (and praying) that keeps up for a while! My family and close friends have been incredible to provide food for us over the past several weeks. I think I’ve cooked a grand total Read more [...]

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Ten Weird Facts About Me

Amanda always did love animals

1. I played pretend and played with with dolls (a.k.a. used my imagination) until I was fourteen. And I’m not ashamed of it. 2. I hum and whistle at the same time – but not on purpose. I naturally hum when I whistle, and I actually have to concentrate to whistle without humming. 3. I remember the exact occasion when I started liking sour cream. And evidently it was my favorite story to tell when I was a kid. (Sorry Mom, Dad, and Kevin for the 113 times I told that story.) 4. I hate tomatoes, but Read more [...]

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