Ezra {4 Months}

Four months. Seventeen weeks + five days. One hundred twenty-four days. Two thousand, nine hundred seventy-six minutes. I look deep into his blue eyes and see the culmination of countless prayers and hopes and dreams. This baby, my redemption baby, changes every day, growing and learning and developing before my eyes. These days are precious to me. Those moments when he clasps his hand around my finger, or smiles up at me when I walk by - those are the moments that still take my breath away. Read more [...]

Thrive Moms Infertility Support Group (and a giveaway)

Someone once asked my husband and me why we were so open about our struggle to conceive a baby. He didn't understand why we would be willing to share such intimate details of our life and marriage. In the 2+ years since we opened up about our journey through infertility God has opened the door for so much ministry. Trying to conceive, and being unsuccessful at it, is frustrating and isolating, and knowing you aren't alone in the journey somehow makes the journey more bearable. Originally we opened Read more [...]

Back to School and the waiting-to-be-mama

There are certain holidays and seasons of the year that are especially difficult for waiting-to-be-mamas. It isn't surprising when our hearts are tender and timid on Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Christmas; and we are thankful for the compassionate embrace of a friend or family member that reminds us that we are not forgotten. But there are other times throughout the year that the sting of childlessness is intensified. I remember when my husband and I went to Sea World two years ago during our Read more [...]

When the birth plan changes

Man plans his plans, but his steps are ordered by the Lord. Proverbs 16:9 I could rewrite this proverb this way: "Women write their birth plans, but God writes their birth stories." My birth story is beautiful. Three and a half months later I look back on Ezra's birthday with nothing but joy and thankfulness. But it did not go as I had planned. My hope and dream for bringing a baby into this world was to do so naturally and with as little intervention as possible. We chose to deliver with a Read more [...]

Ezra {3 months}

Three months. thirteen weeks. Ninety-one days. Two thousand, one hundred, eighty-four hours. And a million moments that make my heart sing. Ezra's third month of life was another month of firsts: First trip to Arkansas - for a friend's wedding First 4th of July First time staying all day at Grandma and Grandpa's First time putting himself to sleep for nap time And a last: Last night to be swaddled He's grown so much in this third month of his life. His body and mind Read more [...]

A thousand million moments

There are so many moments I want to remember. Someday when I am old and wrinkled and I look back on a lifetime of loving Ezra, I want to remember those little details that shaped my new motherhood. I want to remember that for his first two weeks we set an alarm and slept with a light on. Every two hours the alarm would chime, waking us and reminding me that it was time to feed my newborn son. The light stayed on all night so that we could, at any moment, make sure he was breathing, make sure he Read more [...]

A hand hold away from heaven

a hand hold away from heaven

For days we’d gathered in her room, sat around her bed, held her hands. Her breaths were shallow and labored, and we knew that her time on earth was coming to an end. There were moments of laughing – remembering happy occasions and antics that defined who she was. One thing I loved about her was that when she left a message on my phone she always ended it with, “Love, Grandma” as if she were signing a letter. Every time I heard it I remembered just how much the world changed in her life time. Read more [...]

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Ezra {2 Months}

6.8.14 Ezra eyelashes

(I am, once again, terribly behind in posting Ezra’s monthly updates. But I don’t mind. Soaking up all of his baby cuddles is so much more important.) *** Two months. Eight weeks + five days. Sixty-one days. One thousand, four hundred, sixty four hours. Ezra’s second month was equally as challenging as his first month, but for different reasons. When he was two weeks old my Grandma suffered a stroke accompanied by a series of seizures most likely related to the stroke. She spent the next Read more [...]

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Sex and the Christian Woman

Sex and the Christian Woman

What do you think of this card? What about this one? I saw the first card in my Instagram feed yesterday and I have to admit, it made me smile. The thing is, there was a time in our marriage when “practicing making babies” kind of lost it’s luster – fertility treatments have a way of taking the sexy out of sex. When I saw the card I smiled because I’m thankful that season of our marriage is behind us. The Mom Diggity (cool name, right?) shared the card on Instagram yesterday, and I noticed Read more [...]

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Late Nights | Sacred Moments | Holy Ground

Late Night Feeding 1

My little world is quiet, hushed and still, and waiting for a new day to dawn with the sunrise. Somewhere in the distance I hear a cricket, or maybe a cicada, singing it’s middle-of-a-summer-night lullaby. And I hear my little one breathe and coo and sigh contentedly as he suckles at my breast. A lullaby and a balm to my soul. The world around me sleeps as the cool night air refreshes the earth. In a few hours dew drops will sparkle like shimmering glass as the sun casts it’s first light on this Read more [...]

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Ezra {One Month}

One Month Baby Pictures

This post is almost two weeks late. Life with a newborn is a little crazy sometimes, and honestly I’d much rather be indulging his cuddle cravings than getting a blog post up on schedule.  *** One month. Four weeks + two days. Thirty days. Seven hundred twenty hours. The last month has been the hardest, yet most glorious month of my life. A hundred thousand tiny moments that make up a lifetime of memory-making changes and new mommy learning experiences. So many memories and so much learning… …Learning Read more [...]

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Back to God

5.25.14 Dedication 2

I stand here beside my husband who lovingly holds our precious son in his arms. Together we stand at the front of our church, prepared to make a solemn vow before God and His people. In a way this is uncharted territory: this trusting my Heavenly Father with my precious son. And while I’ve had years to practice trusting Him with the unknown, it still takes so much faith – so much practice. Like Hannah we dedicate our child back to the Lord, promising to each other and to God to raise Ezra in a Read more [...]

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The Language of Trust: a prayer from a new mama

5.25.14 Mommy and Ezra

It was our second night at home after Ezra was born. My husband and I stood there looking at our newborn son, our hands clasped and my forehead leaning against his. We were blissfully exhausted: physically, mentally, and emotionally. Our sweet boy had just fallen asleep, and we stood over his bassinet in our room and prayed over him as we ended our day. My husband is wise and humble, and I remember the poignant words he spoke over our son that night: “Lord, give us wisdom as we learn to teach Read more [...]

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Our Birth Story

Birthing Time 2

My husband and I planned a natural, unmedicated birth with our first child. This is our hynobabies birth story.  It was three days before my guess date. I was big and uncomfortable and so anxious to hold my sweet baby in my arms. For weeks my hips and pelvis had endured some of the worse pain of my life, and sleep was becoming more and more elusive. I was ready. Ready to not be pregnant, ready to have our baby, ready to embark on this wild new adventure of motherhood. I woke that morning to Read more [...]

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