5 Ways to Serve Your Husband

This time of year is tough, and by “tough” I mean brutal on marriages, isn’t it? From print ads to T.V. commercials to online advertising, there are so many not-so-subtle expectations for couples to…

…spend lots of money
…look/feel/act really sexy
…plan something uber-romantic
…send flowers
…buy jewelry
…plan a getaway
…find the perfect card
…and the list goes on

But all these things, the “romantic” things that advertisers would have us believe make Valentine’s Day special, do they really communicate love?

Ernest Hemingway Quote About Love Thumbnaildownload free printable here

This Valentine’s Day let’s abandon our expectations and focus on what we can do, how we can sacrifice, and how we can serve our husbands.

5 Ways to Serve Your Husband

1. Pray for him.
“The prayer of a righteous person has great power…” James 5:16 (ESV) I’m a firm believer that prayer is one of the best tools for a healthy and happy marriage. Praying for The Professor allows me to transfer my expectations and desires from my husband and to the Lord. And praying with The Professors opens the door for spiritual intimacy and open communication between the two of us and our Savior. Need some help praying for your guy? Download the February #PrayerDare cards here.

2. Greet him when he gets home from work.
No matter what you’re in the middle of doing when your man walks in the door, stop it, set it aside, and welcome him home with an “I missed you like crazy” kind of kiss. Every day. This is one of our own “rules” for our marriage, and there’s just something about knowing that you were missed that makes the day so special.

3. Ask him how you can help him. 
Offering to be a help not only communicates love, it communicates gratitude for the work he does around the house, the effort he puts into his job, and the time he spends as a valued member of your family. Being a help, while maintaining a cheerful attitude also demonstrates Christ-like joy and service.

4. Brag about him.
Share about his successes, what you love about him, what he’s done to make you feel loved. Brag about your guy – especially when he’s around to hear it. In For Women Only, Shaunti Feldhahn explains that the number one need that men have is to feel respected. She recommends bragging on your guy – to your friends, to his friends, to his parents – so that he knows you respect his hard work, his creativeness, his faithfulness, etc.

5. Pay attention to what you wear.
Shaunti Feldhahn writes that men care very much about how their wives look. Paying attention to how you look demonstrates that he is worth your effort to get dressed and look nice.

How do you serve your husband? How will you be demonstrating your love for him this Valentine’s Day?


Blogging Challenges Q & A with Alys Hejl

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ARD: As a blogger, what is your biggest challenge for growing your community, and how do you deal with it?

AH: My biggest challenge to growing community on my blog is no-reply comments. I love getting comments, and it really makes me sad when I can’t send the commenters a personal note via e-mail because they are no-reply commenters. I love to interact and have conversations in a more private setting and not comment threads. That’s how I want to build community, but I have difficulty when most of my comments are from no-reply commenters.


  1. says

    What a great post. I love that you included to greet your husband when he comes home. I have almost always done that, and the few times I do not stop what I’m doing and go in the kitchen to welcome him home with love he mentions it. Now to just train him to do the same in return…hahahaha!

    • says

      It is our goal that whoever is home stops what they’re doing and welcomes the other. No matter who gets home first. We definitely notice when that doesn’t happen!

  2. Teresa says

    I do 4 of the 5. I cannot greet him at the door as I am the one who goes to work while my husband, who is disabled, stays at home. I do give him a hug and kiss when I arrive home from work.

  3. says

    In our family, it’s easy to fall into the trap of teasing one another more than uplifting. Granted, it’s NOT meant to be mean, but often times I find feelings can get hurt. My goal is to really work on saying only good things about my husband and leaving the negative, even in a teasing way, out of it!

    • says

      Oh Kassi this is excellent advice! I definitely have a sarcastic streak, and I have to be super intentional to not let that come out in the form of teasing. I remind myself of Scripture verses that encourage us to use words that edify and uplift and encourage. Sarcasm just doesn’t fit into those categories! Thank you for the reminder!

  4. says

    One of the best ways I’ve found to go above and beyond in serving my husband is simply choosing not to be lazy when I feel like choosing to be lazy. Laziness means that after eight hours at work, I can talk myself into saying I deserve a break…but choosing to serve means that I won’t procrastinate on cleaning the house and that I’ll make healthy, home-cooked meals that are done when he gets home, and maybe I’ll even get a few of the “chores” that he’s usually responsible for done!

    • says

      OH wow, this is super convicting! I flat out stink at time management – not that I “want” to be lazy – just that I end up not being intentional to spend my time wisely, and that naturally results in laziness.

      Thanks for the convicting comment – I feel challenged!

  5. says

    I do all of these things for the most part. I slack in my appearance from time to time and would like to work on that. All of these things make such a difference for a man. Thank you for your post.

    • says

      Thank you Grace! Have you ever read For Women Only? It is my number one favorite, go-to book on marriage relationships. I read it after The Professor and I had been married for about a year, and it opened my eyes to SO much. It’s an easy (and enlightening) read!


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