I am dressed in white. A long veil with beading around the edge accents my face. I am radiant with joy and love and expectation…and for the first time in my life, I am aware of my own beauty. He waits for me there, at the front of the church. Standing tall in a black tuxedo. He smiles at me – the kind of smile that makes my heart swell with love and pride, but also makes me ache just to be nearer to him, no matter how near we are.
Music echos throughout the room, announcing my arrival. I’d selected Pachebell’s Canon in D to be my wedding march when I was but a starry-eyed, day dreaming little girl. And now, a pianist is playing it for me. And my daddy walks me down the aisle, to him.
We are standing in a church, hundreds of people watching our wedding ceremony, but we are hardly aware that we stand in front of a crowd. We speak the words, those words – our vows to each other. We pledge our lives and our hearts and our affections to each other.
We make our vows:
For better – and I think to myself, what could be better than this?
For worse – and a tiny, unforgettable thought, what will “worse” look like?
And we stand before a crowd and make an irrevocable vow, and though we are young and crazy in love, we know this day is so much more than our wedding day. It is the day that marks the beginning of our marriage.
Our marriage. It is the single most exhilarating gift that God has given me. We are sometimes asked to share our tips for a successful marriage. I often laugh and say something like,
“If you want a godly marriage, marry a godly person.”
The fact that I am married to a man who diligently and purposefully pursues godliness really adds to the “success” of our marriage.
Last year, while on a date, The Professor and I pondered what it means to have a successful marriage. When I asked him to define a “successful” marriage, his immediate, unfiltered response was, ”selfless love that perseveres.” Oh how I love that man. Quite the philosophical answer, isn’t it?
I asked him to elaborate, and he explained, “a successful marriage is one where two people persevere in their self-sacrificing and mutually submissive love for one another.” My heart swelled with love for this wise, deeply thoughtful man. That he would define a successful marriage in such a way that requires sacrifice, and giving up of one’s own will for another, it fills my heart with thankfulness that he’s all mine.
Blogging Challenges Q & A with Framed Frosting
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ARD: As a blogger, what is your biggest challenge for growing your community, and how do you deal with it?
FF: Growing an online community definitely isn’t easy and it doesn’t come naturally. I really struggled at first trying to find my place in the blogging world and what direction I wanted my blog to move in. However, I soon starting connecting with other 20-something bloggers who understood what I was going through and encouraged me. Reading their blogs led me to another blog and I soon became friends with the girl behind that one too…and from there I’ve met so many fabulous women who I consider to be more than just online friends.
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You two are SO adorable. I really love and respect your view on marriage.
Thank you Helen!
I already think you look super young so seeing the wedding picture was crazy! You look like a baby, haha! And this is coming from a 23 year old
I was 23 when I got married! But thank you for the compliment – I’m glad you think I look young! Guess I’ll stick to my beauty routine!
Great post and beautiful pictures. I loved your husband’s answer to your question regarding a successful marriage. Very thoughtful and insightful.
Isn’t he great? My own response wasn’t nearly as deep and meaningful. Have you ever defined what a successful marriage means to you? I’d love to know what your answer is!
Loved this post, so sweet. Your wedding photos were beautiful but the newest photo is the best. Marriages only get better with time when the Lord is the center. Been working on mine for 22 years. :0)
Thanks Tori! That last picture is from Thanksgiving last year – and I love it too! Do you have any advice for longevity in marriage? I’d love to know what it is – while I feel we have a strong marriage, I’m open to any advice I can get!
He is a philosophical guy, isn’t he!? What a great answer!!!
Isn’t it great? He’s a very deep thinker, for sure. Happy Valentine’s Day, friend!
And what if you thought you married a godly person but then all of a sudden you aren’t sure? Then what? Is it doomed to fail? What do you do?
I wish I had an answer that worked for everyone, but I don’t. Is counseling as a couple an option? I’m not trying to be nosy, I don’t know if this is just a rhetorical question, or if this is a situation you are in (and you certainly don’t need to tell me), but I do know that that can be a dark and lonely place to be in, and folks who are there definitely have my prayers for peace of mind, for clarity of mind, and for the ability to recognize what God is guiding them to do about the issue.
We tried counseling…it didn’t really work to go together. I go alone though which I am thankful for it. It can be lonely for sure. Praying for change! Thank you for your words.
I’m praying for you girl. Thanks for opening up and asking a question. Let me know if I can help.
Thank you! I appreciate and am thankful that I felt safe enough with you and your blog, to ask!
Lynne I can’t tell you how thankful I am that you shared with Kassie. Thank you so much!
Yes thank you so much! Thankful for those who are willing to connect with those who reach out and for the encouragement too!
You are welcome….please know that more people than just you are praying about this. God is certainly able to change things…for me the challenge is always figuring out who or what is supposed to be doing the changing. I’m thankful we can depend on the fact that it is never God that changes, His promises are never broken!
Such a great perspective! Y’all are so cute!!
Thank you Rebekah! I’m super thankful for my husband and his wise perspective on marriage!
your hair is so long! WOW.. you looked amazing and i see the love radiating off your face. marriage is such a blessing, work but a blessing!
Thank you Chrissy! I kept that long hair for about 6 months after our wedding, it hasn’t been that long since! I kind of miss those long curls though.
Marriage IS a blessing! And a lot of work. But you know, sometimes the things in life that require the most work and effort are the most rewarding.
Love you!