Is God Still Faithful

I suppose if The  Professor and I were sheep farmers I might have learned the lesson long before now. I cannot help but wonder if the oft-quoted verse,

“We all like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to our own way…” Isaiah 53:6

is so deeply saturated by the culture in which it was written that we can’t replace “sheep” with “cows” or some other livestock that is a little more familiar to the American mindset.

There have been times in my life when I questioned God. Oh, I haven’t struggled with the question, “Is God Real?” No, I wrestle with the question, “Is God still faithful?”

is God Still Faithful?

When He gives me exactly what I don’t want, is God still faithful?

When He withholds the very thing my heart desires most, is God still faithful?

When I am grieving, broken and wounded and seemingly without joy, is God still faithful?

Was He faithful when my two year old nephew died of brain cancer?

Was He faithful on September 11, 2001?

Was He faithful when we were diagnosed with infertility?

Was He faithful when our foster boys were removed from our home without warning because of a false accusation?

Was He faithful when 20 children and six women lost their lives at Sandy Hook Elementary?

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And so it was, while watching my farmer husband care for our cows, that my heart realized how self-centered my thinking often is. Our cows, with new fences, plenty of hay, and fresh water, are all but content. Do they trust us? Yes.

A Farmer and His Cow

And yet in the evening as the sun sinks low behind the forest trees, even before The Professor dons his plaid jacket and rubber work boots, Millie and Abe start their whining. The farmer feeds them every night. He provides fresh hay, repairs broken fences, and sprays for flies so their ears aren’t bothered by itchy bites.

Is God Still Faithful

But they whine, mooing and fussing and probably making our neighbors like us a little less all because their farmer has not fed them exactly when they wanted it.

They have judged the farmer’s faithfulness by their own expectations.

Is God Still Faithful - a lesson learned from watching livestock

And my heart quickens as I realize how very much I am like Abe and Millie.

My heart is bound by Him, eternally secured by the soul-saving blood of Jesus. And yet it wanders. Straying away from what I know, and wandering aimlessly and joylessly in what I feel.

Because I measure God’s faithfulness by my own expectations.

I measure God’s faithfulness by what He has done or what He can do, instead of reveling in who He is: He is faithful. He is holy.

He is faithful.

When I doubt.

When I fear.

When I wrestle.

When I am faithless.

He remains faithful.

2 Timothy 2 13

I’m learning to reign in my wandering heart. I’m learning not to measure His resplendent faithfulness by my simple, narrow-minded expectations. The learning is hard and painful and filled with heartache. But I am learning.

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Amanda
Amanda
Amanda

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Comments

  1. D says:

    Oh.My.Goodness. Thank you. There are truly no words to properly convey how this spoke to me. Reading how I have felt. I understand no two people feel the exact same. However, your words speak of an understanding like no one else. Thank you for sharing your gift, sharing your heart. You are a blessing.

  2. Jamie says:

    Thank you for this post. My husband and I were just questioning yesterday. He has been unemployed since October and we have been at each others throats. Low funds, low food, bickering. Constantly, we are wondering where God is in all of this. I know everything happens in God’s timing and God has and WILL provide what we need. I think as humans, we tend to get VERY impatient. Thanks for sharing your real thoughts. :)

    • Lynne says:

      Financial challenges here too, as my husband’s small business is still at the “not yet a money-maker, but a definite money-needer” stage. I am encouraged by the stories of other people who are struggling so hard to remain faithful. It is so hard to not know the “big picture” – I keep reminding myself that I only see one tiny piece every day, from a very narrow perspective. God knows the big picture, and He has promised that it is good. Romans 8:28 is something I tell myself almost every day, and it helps, along with encouraging posts like the ones I find here. Thanks Amanda and Jamie!

  3. Beautifully written, Amanda. What a perfect reminder.

  4. This is the question that I wrestle with too, if I wrestle. And then it morphs into “does He even love me? because I’m not feelin’ it.” It’s not about what I’m feeling, it’s about who He is. Thanks for the reminder. xo, ab

  5. Esther says:

    Thanks for the post Amanda! Such a good reminder (and your cows are still really cute).

    :-) Esther

  6. Jessi says:

    Good heavens, how true this is. How whiney, like Abe and Millie, we are! Even when we realize we’re whining, promising to do better, we turn around and whine some more. Thank goodness for grace!

    And good heavens, your cows! They are pretty. Just adorable. I’d love to love on them. If I am ever in your neck of the woods, I want to say hello to Abe and Millie!

    xoxo J

  7. Viv Sluys says:

    Love this. Shared this.

  8. Jacy says:

    Amazing post and so well written!
    Needed to read this, thanks Amanda.
    Blessings,
    Jacy

  9. Wow. So so so good. Speechless.

  10. Nancy Smith says:

    Amanda, thank you so much for this! “measure his faithfulness by our own expectations” – that one, my dear, is true, true, true. and yet….. so thankful for His faithfulness!

  11. Melody says:

    Very encouraging and timely for me. thank you!

  12. Ruthie Hart (@ruthiehart1) says:

    In my life He has been the most faithful when I am doubtful and wrestling with fear, anxiety, worry, and wonder. I am so glad that despite heartache and continued struggle, you recognize His glory and steadfastness!

  13. In a moment of weakness, and questioning God myself… I have to say that this post really put things into perspective, and kind of made me reevaluate where and what I need to be thinking about. You are truly, and inspiration. I just wanted to say thank you <3

    xo
    Ange

  14. Amanda says:

    Amanda- thank you for sharing your heart. I am so very thankful that God is faithful and full of grace and mercy! I so act like a toddler in my faith at times, but slowly (very slowly) learning and growing in God’s love.
    xo

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