Desire to Inspire #34: Hope

Sitting in the waiting room, my sweet husband beside me clasping my hand in his, I feel the wrestling in my heart. That silent, unseen dance of two emotions that have for so long been at odds with each other: hope and fear. Sometimes facing infertility with hope instead of with fear seems like an impossible feat.

This place is one of hope – the place “where miracles happen.” But it is also a place of anguish, fear, and grief. And the waiting room is filled with men and women who are living with the burden of infertility, the unquenchable desire to create a beautifully unique family, and the heartbreaking inability to do so.

The first time I sat in that waiting room, back in October, I was dangerously close to releasing a flood of salty tears as I sat there waiting to hear my name called. My heart was hurting, aching from the weight of loss and grief and hard decisions. And yet I was keenly aware of the smallest glimmer of hope. Like when you see from the corner of your eye the sun reflecting on a pieces of glass, and it catches your attention and suddenly you see nothing but radiant light exploding around you. Hope is like that. A tiny fragment of nothing special suddenly bursts into a glorious flame that can’t be ignored or extinguished.

Hope may be frail, and yes, sometimes it is dangerously fragile. But hope is impossible to extinguish.

Hope can withstand the most brutal of whippings, breaking open delicate skin and bearing ugly, broken flesh.  Hope can be starved of all nourishment, deprived of any life-giving nutrients, and yet it will not be snuffed out. It is that beautiful dream that is both achingly fragile and impossibly resilient. Hope, though fragile and broken and weary, lives on. Against all odds, against all reasoning, against all hope.

Facing infertility with hope via aroyaldaughter.com

And this time as I sit in the waiting room resolved and resolute, I will not let fear take the lead in this sacred unseen dance.  I feel an uprising within me. A rebellion waging war against the feelings of fear and doubt and shame, with the most unlikely leader: a broken, bruised, and painfully weakened, but gloriously strong hope.

Are you ready to be an inspiration? (To find out the purpose of the Desire to Inspire community, please read this post.)

  • Please visit the others who link up and leave kind, encouraging words for them. This is about encouraging, inspiring, and building up one another.
  • If you tweet about linking up, please use the hashtag #desiretoinspire so we can find each other.
  • Link up your own quality, read-worthy posts.
  • Focus on how you can be an inspirationnot what inspires you.
  • You do not have to follow ARD, but of course I’d love it if you would.
  • Link up your specific post, not your blog’s homepage.
  • Please do not link up giveaways, blog/social media hops, or shops.
  • Please link back to A Royal Daughter in your post (using the button below, or a text link back) or add this linky party to your linky party list.
A Royal Daughter
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Amanda
Amanda
Amanda

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Comments

  1. What a beautiful quote. I feel that way about my brother that I just posted about and linked up…with his mental illness.
    One of my best friends is going through infertility treatments. Hoping with both of your families!!
    xo, Eva

  2. Been thinking about you. Hope is never a bad thing. This is a great link up series and I’m looking forward to linking up when I’m back to blogging next weeks.
    Xoxo
    Megan

  3. Praying for you as you walk in hope, as you so beautifully described today.

    • Amanda says:

      Thank you for the prayers, Melissa. God is so gracious, and faithful to hold me when I’m grieving, and lovingly allows me to wrestle with Him when my heart is hurting.

  4. So inspiring…blessings to you!

  5. I am not sure if I did the linky right. This is my first time, I am a new to this. I put my name instead of the name of the blog and I am not sure how to remove it and do it again. I apologize. Maybe you can email me some assistance? thank you and I love this “Desire to Inspire” that truly is my desire so thank you for doing this. Your posts really inspire me.

    • Amanda says:

      Victoria,
      Thank you for linking up and welcome to D2I! You did just fine, it’s not a problem at all that your name appears – it links to your blog.

      I hope you’ll join us in the future!

      Amanda

  6. Karen :0) says:

    I love reading your blog posts. Your faith and your overall outlook is incredibly inspiring! Thanks for sharing so openly!!

  7. Rebekah says:

    This week I took your blog button and added it to my blog. I feel like I’ve been here enough times now that I should give you a little more recognition than just a text link at the bottom of a post or two. I so appreciate your heart and all that you share!

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