Sometimes dreams come true.
And sometimes dreams turn into nightmares.
As we continue to struggle through our journey of infertility, we are so appreciative of the support we receive from our friends and family, and for the prayers that are spoken on our behalf. Many of you have offered countless prayers, encouraging words, and tokens of love as we’ve journeyed this road of infertility.
Recently that struggle became much more difficult. In April we had another intra-uterine insemination. It was our third try and for the first time it was successful. We learned in early May that I was pregnant. The doctor was initially very concerned about the viability of the pregnancy, but soon everything was looking great. We were jubilant! After more than four years of struggling with infertility, we were finally going to have a baby! Our due date was January 10, 2014: our ten year anniversary of being together.
A little more than two weeks after we found out about our sweet gift from God, on a Friday evening, I started bleeding. We informed the doctor immediately and he arranged to meet us early on Saturday morning. The doctor couldn’t conclusively determine that anything was wrong and ordered bloodwork to find out more. We went home to wait the 48 hours until we would get the results. On Monday the doctor called and gave us the bad news: we were going to lose the baby. There was nothing that could be done, a miscarriage was inevitable. A few days later, on May 23, 2013, we lost our precious baby. I was 6 weeks, 1 day pregnant.
We have grieved deeply over the last three weeks. We are still grieving our loss. Some days are easier than others. Sometimes we go to town, go to work, and go through the motions of life. Other days we lock our front gate and hide from the world.
The past eight weeks have been brutal on our hearts. We’re broken. We’re wrecked and hurting and torn. And we’re grasping at what used to be trust – and hope – but right now it’s hard to hold on to.
We covet your prayers for us during this season. Though trust is hard, we do trust in God’s sovereignty. We trust His will and plan, and we know that this season of pain and grieving will one day be used for His glory.
I made a video to commemorate the short, but precious life of our sweet baby. It is so very important to us that the precious life of our first child be honored and remembered. Our baby’s life was short, but there was a lifetime of purpose waiting to be born. And we desperately want to honor that purpose.